Blown Fuse

*shakes a fist*

Anyone else use Netflix and send movies back last Tuesday or Wednesday that didn't get "received" by them until today?

Looks like they're using the postal holidays as a good ruse to disguise the throttling they're laying down on you. Just send me my frickin' 'Allo 'Allo!.

Netfuckers.

Interesting. I bitch about our Netflix service a lot because we pay a good chunk of change for it and aren't getting the number of discs ("unlimited") we were promised. Well, looks like someone waged a class-action suit against them:

"You are receiving this notice because you were a paid Netflix member before January 15, 2005. Under a proposed class action settlement, you may be eligible to receive a free benefit from Netflix.

A class action lawsuit entitled Chavez v. Netflix, Inc. was filed in San Francisco Superior Court (case number CGC-04-434884) on September 23, 2004. The lawsuit alleges that Netflix failed to provide "unlimited" DVD rentals and "one day delivery" as promised in its marketing materials. Netflix has denied any wrongdoing or liability. The parties have reached a settlement that they believe is in the best interests of the company and its subscribers.

Netflix will provide eligible subscribers with the benefit described below, if the settlement is approved by the Court.

* Current Netflix Members: If you enrolled in a paid membership before January 15, 2005 and were a member on October 19, 2005, you are eligible to receive a free one-month upgrade in service level. For example, if you are on the 3 DVDs at-a-time program, you will be upgraded to the 4 DVDs at-a-time program for one month. There will be no price increase during the upgraded month. (If you cancel your membership after October 19, 2005 and before you receive the upgrade, you will have to rejoin to get the upgrade.)

* Former Netflix Members: If you enrolled in a paid membership before January 15, 2005 but were not a member on October 19, 2005, you are eligible to receive a free one-month Netflix membership on your choice of the 1, 2 or 3 DVDs at-a-time unlimited program. (If you rejoin after October 19, 2005 but before you receive the free one-month membership, you will receive a credit for the free month when it becomes available.)

These benefits will be provided after the Effective Date as defined in the Settlement Agreement. Your eligibility for the benefits is based on your membership status as of October 19, 2005. The full Settlement Agreement is available for review at www.netflixsettlement.com.

You have four options to respond to the proposed settlement. You have until December 28, 2005 to make your decision:

Option 1. Sign Up For The Benefit As Part Of The Settlement
To receive the benefit, you must complete the online registration process no later than February 17, 2006, at www.netflixsettlement.com. By signing up for the benefit, you waive your right to bring a separate lawsuit against Netflix concerning the Released Claims (as defined in the Settlement Agreement found at www.netflixsettlement.com).

Option 2. Do Nothing
If you do not wish to receive the benefit, do nothing. You will not receive the benefit but will remain a Class Member. You therefore waive your right to bring a separate lawsuit against Netflix concerning the Released Claims.

Option 3. Exclude Yourself From the Class
To exclude yourself from the class, you must mail a letter by December 28, 2005. By excluding yourself, you preserve your right to bring a lawsuit against Netflix concerning the Released Claims. However, you will not get the benefit described above.

Option 4. Make An Objection To The Settlement In Court
To object to the settlement, you must file legal papers in the San Francisco Superior Court by January 5, 2006.

To receive your benefit, you must register by February 17, 2006 as described above in Option 1. You will not receive any other reminders to register for the benefit. If you have registered for the benefit and your eligibility is confirmed, then you will be provided additional information by email following the Effective Date as defined in the Settlement Agreement.

After the benefit period ends, the new or upgraded level of service will continue automatically (following an email reminder) and you will be billed accordingly, unless you cancel or modify your subscription. You can cancel or modify your subscription at any time.

In addition, if the settlement is approved by the Court, Netflix will modify portions of its Terms of Use. Netflix also will refer to its Terms of Use in certain advertisements.

To get more information about the settlement and procedures, and to take options 1, 3 or 4, visit www.netflixsettlement.com."

So, we get a one-month upgrade? I think that's bullshit. They admit no wrongdoing for the fact that they don't deliver DVDs as promised, and they're allowed to continue on with their current business practices?

I suspect that our "upgrade" will merely consist of the number of movies we're supposed to have at our current level as calculated by their "one day" turnaround and normal postal service deliver.

Fuckers.

Superbored

So frickin' sleepy.

I came home today to find that slow-as-shit Netflix finally delivered one of those "unlimited" discs. Knowing that if I didn't get it in the mail tomorrow, I would have to wait another freakin' week to get them to send another one out. Anyway.

So, I'm on the sofa, watching Jesus Christ Superstar, and what do I do? Sleep through it. I won't be trying to watch that later, either. That movie bored me to tears. I literally pulled the blanket over my head and turned my back to it.

Y'all know I'm a big fan of musicals and rock operas, but this one blows goats. It was just...nuh uh. I have to confess that I was going to talk some serious smack about Godspell's whole trying-to-be Hair (although the movie version predates Hair by a few years) but even in that movie I had momentary urges to get up and shake the booty a bit. Not so much with JCSS.

I'm not even going to bother picking it apart and discussing the thematic blah blahisms. I feel like I wasted a Netflix week (those slow fuckers).

Every season change I get this huge wave of delirium-laced sleepiness. I can't wait for fall to settle in good so I can keep my eyes open longer than 8 pm.

Airtight terms of service.

Netflix is pissing me off. (By the way, "Hi." I'm taking a vacation day today so I'm at home and I just woke up 30 minutes ago).

A couple of months ago I stepped us down for the 2-out-at-a-time "unlimited" plan because we [read: Scott] weren't finding enough time during the week to watch them all. I figured that Netflix was throttling (slowing down our movie flow because we're high-frequency users) us an I didn't want to be gouged for them to do it.

We returned two movies to our Greensboro distribution center via mail on Monday. They notified us that one was received on Tuesday. The other one, going to the exact same place and mailed from the exact same box, was marked as returned on yesterday. So. We've gotten one movie in the mail this week, although our plan and the way the post operates technically allows us to have up to four.

In their terms of service they DO say that they ship out movies to people who use the service less frequently with greatest priorty.

So, basically, they're giving better service to people who make them more money and they're admitting to it. Even if you're on the eight-out plan, if you actually try to use it as an unlimited service, you're not going to get what you bargained for.

*sigh* I just want them to be clear on what they refer to as "unlimited." I wrote them the following email:

"I've been a Netflix subscriber for one year. I've been a steady subcriber - I've never dropped the service to see if there was "something better" in the market. I never complained, even when my 3-out plan discs slowed to a trickle. I never formally complained even when I was getting 3 or 4 broken or unplayable discs each month.

Now I'm complaining.

In your terms of service you basically state that you can slow the flow of movies to your high-frequency users in favor of those people who make you more money by renting less discs.

I want to know how you decide when to stop sending movies in a timely manner.

Is there a specific conversion ratio that you follow or do you just STOP sending movies in a timely manner when a subscriber gets close to the end of their billing period and you see that they've gotten VERY close to that "imaginary" number you've set for their plan? Of course, no such number exists because you claim these things to be "unlimited."

In case you're wondering if I'm speaking in generalities here, NO. Here's a specific example. On Monday, 8/8 we mailed two movies from the same mailbox to our local distribution center. You reported that you recieved one the next day and the other two days following that. I find it hard to believe that it took three days for the post office to deliver a flat envelope to a town forty minutes over. We've recieved ONE disc this week and a total of 10 in the past 30 days.

My math says that we should be able to have at LEAST 16. But of course, that isn't profitable for you.

I should not have to dig out my dusty Blockbuster card to present in person to rent movies in a store when your service slow down.

I'm not threatening to cancel my service at this time. I just want a number. Tell me how many movies you set as an unoffical cap on the "2-out/unlimited" plan so that I don't exepct to recieve more than than.

If we shouldn't bother to rush these movies back to get new ones, we won't do it. We'll put ourselves into a EVEN LOWER plan bracket where we feel like we're getting what we thought.

Please advise."

What'll probably happen is I'll get some copy and paste automatic response and I'll have to keep replying to get a here-or-there answer.

I would say that is is the last straw, but it isn't. Until my local video store is convenient enough to use to difray the fact that I'm there so much they know me by name I won't turn the business over to them. Stay tuned.

Break it to make it.

Sometimes I add movies to my Netflix queue that have been critically heralded as being so bad that they're not worth the medium they're recorded on, but I can't resist watching them because as you know, any publicity is good publicity.

I added Breakin' to the list because it's one of those titles that just keeps coming up in '80's pop culture commentary.

I added Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo at the same time merely to be able to watch them both at once.

Jeebus. I won't discuss Breakin' as it is what it is, but I'll play a bit of Devil's Advocate for the sequel.

Everything I've seen or read about it touted it as the worst...movie...ever. That's not true - surely 54 is worse. It's like a non-stop music video, the plot is jumpy, the stunts are badly captured and the acting is piss-poor (what do you expect from street dancers, Hamlet?)...but it wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen. It sort of had an 1980s Sister Act appeal to it.

Would I buy it? Hellz no. Would I watch it again if it were on TNT? Um. I wouldn't set my schedule around it. The point is that there's no way it could be as bad as Glitter. It's a nice clean movie that you can use to babysit your kids while you go get your hair done.

"Grace and Favour"

I've made it known that I'm a big fan of British comedys. My all-time favorite is "Are You Being Served?" We didn't have cable out in the sticks so we got a lot of our entertainment by means of PBS. I believe I saw my first episode when I was ten or so. Every time I saw a rerun after that, being a bit older I'd pick up on some tawdry jokes that went over my head in the past.

Ah. That's good t.v.

The reprisal series, "Grace and Favour" is much less entertaining, but it was nice to see all the characters again. There were a few very funny moments ("But I'm ha'py!") that I laughed outloud at, but overall I'm disappointed. Back to the Netflix queue it goes.

Fucking Re-Makes

Occassionally I'll take a risk and add a British dramedy to my Netflix queue. A few months back Mean Machine came up. I thought it was pretty good. I didn't blow raspberries at it the whole way through, at least.

When I saw that an American remake starring Adam Sandler is coming out I huffed a bit....and Burt Reynolds is in it.

I see now that this is the second reincarnation of this movie. The original starred Burt Reynolds and came out in '74.

Wow, those monkeys they have locked in a room writing scripts must be running out of key combinations.

Nickeled and Dimed

Is anyone else considering jumping ship from Netflix? I've become complacent and don't really want to make a move, but I see several other services that allow the same amount of DVDs out for quite a bit less.

They need to catch up.

"Extreme!"

I thought it would be corny, and in a way it was, but it had me giggling like an immature 12-year-old for an hour and 20 minutes.

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle--see it if you like stoner humor: it blows Dude, where's my car? (which sucked oh-so-much ass) right out of the water.

*twitches noticably*

I'm suffering from Netflix withdrawal. The last playable DVD we recieved was on Wednesday, I think, and that was the only one we recieved all week. Okay, that's an exaggeration. We got one yesterday and one today. They were both fucking broken.

Such a bummer.

"Maria Full of Grace"

"Maria Full of Grace" arrived yesterday from my Netflix queue. It's in Spanish with English subtitles, but I'll make the disclaimer that there was never a point in the movie where the dialogue was so fast that you were confused or couldn't keep up with the captioning. Even if you didn't have the subtitles, there wasn't so much dialogue that you wouldn't understand what was going on...well, I have a moderate comprehension of spoken Spanish so I may be overstating that.

Nothing seemed to be contrived or false. The pace of the storyline was natural--nothing was forced or put in just for effect.

The story follows Maria, a Columbian girl who agrees to act as a drug mule to make some money quickly. What happens between the moments of her swallowing a kilo of heroin and returning to the airport in New York to return to Columbia are what puts you on the edge of your seat hoping that she doesn't just do what it expected.

I liked Catalina Sandino Moreno's quiet style of acting and hope to see her in other movies in the future.

Put it in your queue.

Want to join my Netflix friends list so you can share your recommendations with me? Email me (<-- you know what to remove) and I'll send you one of those invitiation thingies.

Spiffy

The much-talked-about Netflix now allows members to create separate profiles for each person in the house (that uses the computer, I presume).

I'm the person billed for the service, so my name is the main one on the account. I gave Scott my password so that he could go in and add stuff to the queue. I hate how he moves all his blood and gut movies up to the top...anyway. Now, you can delegate how many movies each profile can have out at a time and not have to worry about fighting over the queue order.

The only problem I can forsee is that since we're on an "odd" plan (three out at a time) one of us will always have more movies out than the other. I guess we can set up a "neutral" queue with movies that we both actually want to see.

When I logged in, I saw that on Scott's recommendation page, there are movies like "I, Robot" and "Troy."

On mine, there's "Home on the Range" and "Family Guy." Whatever are they thinking...thinking that I like cartoons like that...

ahem.

Netflix Digest #2

Some thoughts on the past week's Netflix rentals:

In a nutshell.

I've been a bit slack in spewing remarks concerning my Netflix views recently, so here's the past couple of weeks in a nutshell.

Mm hmm.

A-HA! I was right. All three allotted movies in my Netflix queue arrived at the same time. Since my distribution center is an hour and a half from here, there's was absolutely no excuse for them taking that long. They're all pretty recent movies, so they're pretty sure to be in stock just about anywhere.

Technically speaking, one should have arrived Tuesday, and then two on Wednesday. Then we would have returned those and had one more on Thursday, and one more on Friday (if they processed on Saturdays, the next one would arrive the following Monday). That's how the system works when it's at its best, but of course Netflix will try to make some money out of it--by slowing down their service, they think you'll upgrade to more discs per month for a higher rate.

Not so much.

I'll keep logging the ins and outs this and next month. If it becomes obvious that their service degraded along with their price decrease, I might have to take my biddness to the Loss Leader. Even though their name must not be mentioned out loud....

Blockbuster tempts me.

What in the heck is up with Netflix? We haven't gotten anything new since Monday, which we promptly watched and returned. We're on the "Three" plan, so it's kind of annoying that they're not cycling faster than they are, especially since they don't process returns and mail disks on Saturdays.

I want to get my money's worth, so for $17.99/month, I'd better be getting at least as many discs as I could get at a traditional video rental store. For the month of November we got 11 discs: one had to be returned for exchange because it was unplayable. That earmarks an okay deal. The month before that, we had 19 I think. I think that disparity in number is ridiculous. We watch the movies as they come in, so it's not like we're hoarding them for the weekend.

Watch: tomorrow we'll get all three discs at once.