Blown Fuse

"I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store."

I stumbled upon "The Best Page in the Universe" and thought this rant about Mac users was funny as shit.

While I have no strong feelings one way or the other about Macs, you have to admit he's spot-on about a lot of things. ;)

Lemming? Yes, I am.

Twitter me.

See my awesome drawing skillz?

What does your drawing say about YOU?

The results of your analysis say:

You tend to pursue many different activities simultaneously. When misfortune does happen, it doesn't actually dishearten you all that much.
You are a direct and forthright person. You like to get to the core of the issue right away, with few signs of hesitation.
You like following the rules and being objective. You are precise and meticulous, and like to evaluate decisions before making them.
You have a sunny, cheerful disposition.

Yep. Sounds about right...except for that "sunny disposition" thing.

Via Suburban Casualty.

Cover that shit up, man.

This is one of those "laugh so hard you snort through your nose" clips. Just damn.

Pink bath pouf. Crazy.
Via Paula D.

You get what you ask for!

Harvey wants something blue for his birthday. So, here ya go, big boy. Happy 40th!

"The exhaust appears to be fine. Whilst we are on the subject of expelling waste gas...."

Check out this eBay UK ad for a Ford Galaxy. If you scroll down a ways, you'll see all the questions that potential bidders asked about the vehicle.

Having just sold a car, I understand how incredibly frustrated this guy must have been.

Strike a pose, Brit-Brit.

I don't know why this makes my eyeball twitch so, but under no circumstances do I find statue Britney in this pose tasteful.

Actually, I'm kind of suspicious that the sculptor has a slight obsession with Britney's bits and sculpting her pregnant was the only way he could showcase her with no clothes.

*shudders*

TCSA.

You know, sometimes, if you blink, you miss certain blogs coming back from hiatus.

Bunch of savages.

I was doing some BlogExplosion surfing this morning and realized a pet peeve I didn't know I had:

People who have beautifully designed websites who are unable to spell worth a shit. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but damn, I got let down a few times. The misuse of they're, there, and their is burning my eyes!

The inhumanity!

It's up!

My blog interview is up at Basil's. Why are you still here? Click the link!

*cracks whip*

Tomorrow is the very last day for you to submit your interview questions for me to answer at Basil's Blog. Just click on the l'il link at the top of the page. Keep it tidy. Don't make me eWedgie you.

G'wan and Ask.

Remember when I said I would be interviewed at basil's blog and that you should go ask those nagging questions that have been itching in your brain about me?

Well, here's some impetus: questioning will close on 12/17.

Just click on this link or email your questions to the address shown on this page if your mail client doesn't automatically open.

I'll answer pretty much anything...but be reasonable. Anything regarding the color of my skivvies or how many transmissions I've burnt out are verboten.

Volunteerism is a Southern woman's duty.

Growing up, I was always that kid who got volunteered to do things...even if I was in absentia at the moment. Whether I was tutoring some little stinkin' country kid on reading or delivering fruit baskets to the sick and infirm if there was something benevolent going on in the county I was most certainly involved.

I obviously have problems saying "No."

Well...I've volunteered to be interviewed at Basil's Blog. I don't know when it'll happen, but here's your chance to ask all those pesky little questions you're just itching to know. Like..."What's your shoe size?" and "What do you like to throw when you get mad?"

Here's a freebie: I throw shoes. Flip flops fly the best, though sneakers have a fun bounce.

Head on over and click on the thingamabob by my name. Keep it clean...at least as clean as my language. :)

Miss Congeniality

Well, well. It seems the Tiffany has been kidnapped, stuffed into the back of a van, and entered into a cyber Scholarship Competition beauty pageant.

*Sigh*

Most of you have never seen me in person, but damn. That's a bad picture. In my own defense, I rarely (if ever) have good outcomes when photos are taken of me. In that particular snapshot I was holding my camera phone three feet from my face and squinting to see if I was in the shot.

*Sigh*

Anyway. I'm going to go practice my talent portion of the competition. I can do this trick where I set batons on fire, toss them high into the air, and then run away before they fall and set my hair ablaze.

A PSA from Momotrips:

Check out Haggis Ain't Cake. You know Robert. Allison of The World According to Allison has started a campaign to get Robert and his family on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition because of his whole situation - lost leg, 2 year infection, house falling down, daughters running the house, etc. We're all sending letters to Allison and she will send a packet along with Robert's family's tape to ABC. Wouldn't it be great for Robert to get a new home for his daughters - a new place WITH AIR CONDITIONING so that he can finally heal properly and get back to working full-time. He's only agreed to this because he wants it for his girls. His whole life is those girls. Check it out and write a letter if you feel so inclined.

As soon as I get out of my die! coworkers, die! rage, I'll type up the bestest letter you've ever seen!

"Kick it under a shelf. Don't let anybody see it!"

I'll add this incident to my arsenal to use the next time my sister nags about how long it's taking me to plan kids.

"Mommy! I pooped!"

My half-brother once did something similar to what li'l Burger did...except we were in a hotel room and the victim was a potted plant in the corner.