You're all aware of the degree of dysfunction ensconcing my immediate family. My half-brother is a hooligan. My mom is a nut-job who's been married three times (going on four). My dad is a man-ho who moves from woman to woman like Henry VIII trying to have a son (my theory). He has six daughters (I'm number three), only two of which I've met (one is my only full sibling so I didn't really have much choice there).
Daughter number four, who I'll refer to as "A" is just barely a teenager: she's 13. My full sister spent some time with her when she was a wee baby back in the nineties but hasn't had much contact with her since then. I don't know a whole lot about her and I'm certain she knows little to nothing about me, other than the fact that I exist.
I recently reestablished contact with my eldest sister after seven years and she's been hooking me up with contact numbers for both my father (haven't gotten around to THAT call yet) and my younger sis. Younger sis is chomping at the bit for some communication from me.
I don't know what to say. I've had her phone number for a week and haven't called. It's not fear. She's 13, for chrissakes, what's she going to possibly say that could offend me? It's some other emotion that I can't really describe. I've always been the younger sister and have never had a reason to take on the brooding protective mother hen role until Rosco was born. I feel like I'm stepping into the game sort of late, know what I mean?
Eldest sister forwarded me A's email address a couple of days ago with a little wondering why haven't I called her and can I please email her. It made me feel like such a heel. I can make excuses and say I've been really busy with my non-napping child (which I was) or that my internet connection has been down (which it hasn't), but it wouldn't be good enough.
The writer makes a confession: I just don't know what to say.
I'm starting that email now. I'll start with simple information: where I am, what I'm doing, what I like. Then I'll let her ask whatever she wants.
I was 13 once. Though I've selectively blocked out most experiences from that year, I can say that if I were in the shoes she's in right now, I'd be upset and curious as to why I haven't reached out to her more quickly.
Posted by Tiffany at March 8, 2007 12:51 PM | TrackBackWishing you fortitude and huge, generous spirit during this time of discovery.
This reminds me of what my god-daughter. She's 20 and just saw her dad for the 1st time since she was 3. She met young brothers and sisters she didn't know she had -- and learned they knew all about her and had actually been looking for her.
I think she feels better about herself now knowing she had "unseen" close relatives thinking and caring about her. It's not perfect, but it's a blessing.
Nice blog!
Posted by: kweenkong at March 9, 2007 10:49 PM