Dear Scott:

I fear I may have been unclear.

When I go "tap tap tap" on your back before your alarm clock goes off, it does not mean "stop those fucking mongrel cats from scratching on the bedroom door."

It may mean that you're squashing me, but most likely it means "Kid is up. Can you go change his diaper so I can sleep five more minutes seeing how you're about to get up and all anyway?"

Thanks.