Blown Fuse

Cue the tiny little violins.

Where's Tiffany? Snarking over at Snarky Momma. I hadn't intended on my mommy-blog becoming my primary journal, but over the past few months I've simply been less angry. Uh huh. After poking the fire for three+ years at Blown Fuse, I've simply become less angry. Much of that has to do the fact that I stay home all day and no longer have the "man on the street" blog fodder that I used to.

I intended to keep Blown Fuse as my "dirty little secret": the blog the other mommies don't know about, but then I started to realize that anything I've had the energy to write about could fit equally well with Snarky's content. Whereas before my blogging was the literary equivalent of ultra-low-rise pair of jeans, it now leans more towards the waistband-over-the-belly mom jeans category. I didn't want to become a "mommy blogger" (*spit*), but, yeah. De facto, and such.

I don't blog about Rosco all the time. I really don't. However, I do tend to write more about myself in my new role and the politics of being a parent, so that tends to sway my commentary in one specific direction.

So...Blown Fuse, my little electronic baby, will be *sniffle* going vacant, and I'll be shuffling any relevant content over to Snarky in a piecemeal fashion.

Additionally, I plan to whore my mommy blog out for ad revenue (which I didn't want to do with my Munu blog - Pixy was kind enough to host it for me for free, and I didn't want to make money off of it). I'll let Blown Fuse stay up until Pixy notices the dust covering it and decides to recycle the server space (it'll take me at least that long to figure out how to retrieve any images I'd want to keep, anyway).

Stop by occassionally - the mommies don't bite...hard, or email me at tiffany [at] snarkymomma [dot] com if you need someone to yell at you.

Faster than you can file false charges...

Damn those wiki-writers work fast.

My favorite line: "...Crystal Gail Mangum (born 1978) is an African-American student and prostitute..."

I guess they calls it likes they sees it.

Makin' memories, folks.

Hope everyone had a pleasant weekend. Is it just me, or do people not do anything for Easter anymore? When I was in school or working, I always seemed to either have good Friday or "Easter Monday" off to extend the weekend. Scott had to work both days, so Sunday seemed like just another Sunday.

North Carolina has been having a cold snap over the past week or so. We've gone from 85 degree heat to "Shit, need to go back and get a coat" weather in the matter of a few hours. I HATE THAT. Just as the congestion was starting to clear out of my head, it's come back and now my ear is all stuffed up again.

Wait. How did I get off-topic that fast? Oh yes. Easter. Long-time readers know that we're not particuarly religious, however would feel a bit empty if we didn't recognize certain traditions from childhood. So, we do the best we can to re-create those for the baby. I decided last minute that he should have an Easter basket this year, and by the time I sent Scott out to pick some stuff up there wasn't much left. (Incidentally, have you ever tried looking for Cadbury Creme Eggs the day before Easter? Because they don't exist by that point.)

I had plans for us to go take Easter pictures outdoors so that Rosco could have a chance to wear his little seeersucker jumper, but like I said: cold. My sister and I always got new dresses for Easter when we were kids and someone would always make us stand outside on my grandmother's porch and model them for snapshots. I hated it, but can appreciate the value of there being some record of us from year to year. (In fact, here's a picture of my sister modeling a homemade dress, circa 1986 or so).

Well. This year's pictures have me and Rosco in our pajamas. Of the three of us, Scott was the only one to shower and dress for the day and that was only for the sake of buying coffee creamer.

Yeah. We need to improve on this holiday thing.

Not to be rude, but - dude!

I'd like someone to give me some advice on etiquette for the following situation.

Last night I went out to the grocery store. It was between seven and nine - I went at this time because I had to wait for Scott to get home to keep an eye on Roland, and also the stores tend to be a little less packed during that time (people are at home eating dinner).

I drove out of my way to a grocery store in a swanky neighborhood knowing that the food selection would be better quality and the clientele less obnoxious.

I wandered around the store with my cart, taking my time for once, and making sure that I got everything on my list as I wouldn't have a chance to go back out until tomorrow. When I was done with my shopping I got into a check-out lane where there was no line. The cashier ringing me up didn't have a bagger, so she was sort of just piling things up at the end of the counter and looking around nervously for assistance (the counter was pretty small).

To speed things along, the woman in line behind me comes around and starts bagging my stuff, mumbling something about hating to stand around. Mind you, the store was virtually desserted at this point and she had few enough items to go through the self-check lane.

What the hell? I stood there like a dipshit with a look on my face reading "I'm not in a huge hurry," "there's no one in the other lane - go over there!" and "Fuck you if you think I'm bagging my own groceries at these prices."

Of course, I thanked her for bagging my shit, but how huge do your balls have to be to do that? I was so astounded. Before she walked up there and started bagging my loot I hadn't intended to do that task myself, and I sure as hell wasn't going to engage in it after she started it. I couldn't even say, "Um, that's nice of you, but that's okay - you don't have to bag my shit," because she was obviously a carrier of ants in the pants.

What would you have done?

Okay, so chicken?

Went to the grocery store with the intention of getting Easter fixin's, and came out mad. That country ham I was looking for? $20. No way in hell I'm paying $20 for a "partially-bone-removed" ham for two people. That's not even a real ham - that's that hoity-toity bullshit they sell to people who really don't know what ham is.

For $20 I'd better be getting an entire ham named Wilbur with Templeton the rat and Charlotte the spider thrown in as a bonus.

My Easter ham dreams go *poof*

I've been hoarding ham in my freezer for a good while just waiting for the perfect occasion to take it out and have a good supper.

All this time I thought it was country ham - my grandma picked it up for me out in the country because I can't find it up here.

Guess what? It's not country ham. It's two fucking bags of ham hocks.

HAM HOCKS! All this time I thought there were whole hams sitting in my freezer. I could have had those damned things in those bland-ass beans I had last week!

I'm mad now. Now I'm going to have to buy a Easter ham that's going to suck because this is the "city" and they don't have decent heart attack food in the grocery stores around here.

*kicks baseboard*

I know it's weird.

My teeth hurt. It's a weird kind of hurt - it's as if my teeth have hayfever. I feel this way EVERY SPRING. It sort of feels like they're all loose and riddled with new cavities when I know for a fact that I went to the dentist last week and I only have one new hole :-). It also feels like there's a chunk of Slim Jim stuck between my molars.

I looked this up a couple of years ago on the internet and saw that it was pretty common, although for the life of me I can't remember what it's called. Everything feels like it's back to normal within a couple of weeks. I just hate feeling like my teeth are going to crack.

lalalalalalalaI'm not listening.

Why do people comment bull-shittyously on old-ass posts?

Shit, at least leave a real email address so when you check back to see if I've taken the bait you'll know which jackass you were.

"I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store."

I stumbled upon "The Best Page in the Universe" and thought this rant about Mac users was funny as shit.

While I have no strong feelings one way or the other about Macs, you have to admit he's spot-on about a lot of things. ;)