I have a zit for each hour of that day.

Here's what happened at work last week that got me all in a tizzy:

On Thursday morning Bossman had arrived earlier than usual so I was the only one in the office. After the usual pleasantries and him dropping his stuff in his office he comes out, places a hand on my shoulder and says, "Tiffany, I just want you to know that I love what you do here and appreciate you."

He was behind me so he couldn't see me shifting my eyes around looking for an escape. "Um, okay..." was all I could say. I was suspcious and wondered if he'd suddenly become blog-savvy. Nope - I didn't need to worry about that it turned out.

By the time everyone had dragged themselves out of their beds and crawled to their desks he'd began his "thrashing the wheat" routine. During his thirty-some years career he's only fired two people and he gave them both the same line: "I shouldn't have to do XYZ - that's what I hired you for!" Well. He chastised the group as a whole for falling below performance standards and basically chewed us out for everything else he saw fit to. This was his attempt at getting a certain person to quit before he had to fire her, however this backfired terribly. Everyone [minus those spared by nepotism] became perturbed at the implications of his accusations and was basically on the verge of mutiny.

You see, Bossman sucks at managing. He plops you in front of some training videos early on, gives you some attention during your first weeks, and then thats it. No guidance. No coaching. Some people flounder in that sort of environment. Without any sort of reinforcement they're basically spitting in the sky. He's of the school that just because he gives you a whole lot of technology to use that you should be successful. If you hire an office full of 20-somethings you're going to have to be a manager. Simple as that. If you want mature, experienced professionals then double the salary and stand back.

He instructed us that if anyone wanted to discuss whether this is what they wanted to be doing for a living, he'd talk with them in private.

Well, the twins went in first and for an hour discussed with him constructive ways to improve his management skills. (The "throw the spaghetti against the wall and see what sticks" method ain't cutting it.) He basically told them that they needed to change the way they work (even though they're the top performers) although he wasn't going to change a thing about the way he manages.

Next. Oops! realized that she was the lowest producing person in the office so she went to see him next. He gave her a choice to ponder over the long weekend. What it amounted to was her quitting or her coming back and getting fired soon after. She came in today and told him that her decision was to finish out the month to close out her existing projects and meanwhile she'd find new employment. So that's what she did all day. She took whatever calls came in for her and spent th rest of the time rewriting her résumé.

Everyone is slightly less pissed than we were last Thursday and no longer considering the mass exodus as planned, however will eagerly jump at any opportunity that seems less like an ulcer waiting to happen.

So, that's what happened. Maybe when she leaves I'll get that raise, huh?

Posted by Tiffany at July 5, 2005 05:57 PM | TrackBack