Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside.

I am the "other" in my office. I do all the administrative stuff and any other task that requires a certain amount of intuition and know-how (i.e. sending out intraoffice e-memos bitching certain standing pissers out about leaving the floor in front of the seat sticky).

You see, my job is to make the execs' work lives riddled with only a small amount of tasks that take away from money-making activities.

As you could probably guess, anyone hired in positions like mine inevitably end up having a larger workload than initially specified. That is because people like me who work in positions like mine tend to have two inherent problems: 1) we're fucking geniuses*, 1a) fucking geniusness instills probability in boss's brain that fucking genius could probably do more stuff, and 2) we don't like jumping ship unless the motherfucker's on fire.

Scott tells me that the only way I'll ever earn my worth is to job hop. Probably, but the there's a force field around my résumé that prevents me from scouting other work. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my employment situation. The problem is that the very nature of my job precludes delegating tasks to others which means there's a four week backlog of paperwork in my inbox. If I had the time to do so during the day I'd probably cry. I really need a part-time flunky to take some of the clerical work off of my desk so that I can do actual office management stuff (like blaming people for pissing on the floor). Since I've become minorly obsessive since begining employment at my company, I HAVE to find someone that won't need to be micromanaged, but will take spit and lint for pay.

As of right now, I'm a basically a data processor with a four-year degree in English Language. That's like hiring Wolfgang Puck to flip burgers at Le Mickey Dees.

I'm going to go have that cry now.

*Too exhausted for modesty.

Posted by Tiffany at May 3, 2005 10:30 PM