(by Momotrips)
Well, Thanksgiving was a hoot and a holler this year. I didn’t have to have the clan over to my house for a change which was fabulous. Can everyone appreciate eight kids under the age of seven NOT wrecking my house? Woohoo! My niece just moved into the same master planned community in which my sister, dad and I already live. This is their first home and they’ve been dying to entertain, so they got all 23 of us for Thanksgiving day and 17 of us today. There was much running up and down the stairs of 16 little feet, much eating, much laughter, a 2nd birthday party for my nephew and too much food. Favorite holiday memories made: two kick ass nights of Texas Hold ‘Em poker and carrying my beautiful sleeping boys to the car and to bed – this is probably the last year that this will be physically possible. Sigh.
The dinner (both days of it) was pretty much a let down. The usual fare: turkey, ham, cornbread dressing, my special rosemary sage sausage and rice dressing, rosemary mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie, et al, but it just didn’t have the same effect that it used to. I used to just eat until I thought I’d explode, wait and eat a little bit of each thing that was really good again. As I’ve lost weight, cut back on just about everything that’s bad for me and gotten older, the IDEA of food is always much better than the reality of it. Eating is always a disappointment and I wonder if what I ate was really worth the number of fat grams and calories that I ingested or not. I tend to analyze the taste and enjoyment level of everything I eat and it takes all the fun out of it. The only thing that holds any satisfaction at all is usually dessert. Now mind you, I don’t really count fat grams or calories, but it’s always going through my mind – like, what is the ratio of enjoyment to artery clogging properties of this one little fried crab cake? Is this one little crab cake going to be the coagulated morsel that pushes my cholesterol over the top and stops my heart? Is it really that tasty? What about that dollop of rosemary mashed potatoes with heavy cream and real butter? Is the momentary enjoyment of those 600 calories of creamy goodness going to be the one item that makes my ass grow the 3 inches that make those new cute jeans an unfabulous “Glamour Don’t”? At least when I eat a wonderful creamy piece of cheesecake or key lime pie or Marble Slab ice cream I feel like - ahh, that was worth it – a good time was had by at least 4 out of 5 senses. A good sensory experience was had by all. I discussed this with my sister who’s got 12 years on me and she says that this is true for her as well. She lost over 100 pounds in the last 6 years (is that awesome or what?) and that combined with not wanting to die at a relatively young age has taken the fun out of eating for her, too. Damn, does NOTHING get better with age besides wine and cheese? Sure, two more things I can’t enjoy anymore – figures.
We reminisced about Thanksgivings past and I now recall the most memorable Thanksgiving and I can’t believe that I did not include this in Mac’s “Stick a [gold] fork in me post” below. About 8 years ago, before any of us young ’uns had kids, we spent the holiday at my parents house out in the Texas Hill Country. My husband and I were still childfree and smoochy and my nieces were both either newly married or engaged. There were three cute young women roaming around the house and three handsome young men, besides my parents and my older sister and her husband. At on point I’m sitting in the living room with several other people and my older niece is leaning on the kitchen counter talking to my mom (I miss you, Mom, rest in peace!). My husband is wandering around drinking his Dr. Pepper and trying not to be too “social” as he’s uncomfortable in most social situations. For reasons known only to him he puts down his Dr. Pepper can and reaches out with both hands and grabs the ass bent over the counter. Remember, I’m sitting on the couch in the living room – I, and everyone else in the living room, for some reason at this moment all happen to look in his direction. The ass that he’s grabbed belongs to a woman that is very apparently not welcoming this contact in ANY physical manner. There’s a hushed silence over the crowd and he realizes one moment too late that the ass that he still has a firm grip on is not the ass of the woman to which he is legally bound. The look of sheer confusion, terror and nausea on his face was hysterical enough, but the humor was compounded by the flying backward leap that he made upon the realization that EVERYONE was watching. My poor, poor sweetie. My niece was at first horrified then melted into a fit of laughter that nearly brought on an asthma attack. Everyone else gave him a horrible time about it all weekend and that was the turning point that made him feel that he really belonged in this insanely hysterical family of mine. My mom kept asking if he wanted to squeeze her heiney, too. And by the way, this was the same Thanksgiving that my niece’s husband tried to carve a fried turkey and it shot down the counter (like a bullet) into a full sink of soapy water. He was so mortified that he had to go outside and walk it off. We just kind of rinsed it off, patted it dry and ate it anyway. It’s really hard to mess up a fried turkey.
I hope that your families made some great memories this year and I also hope that you really enjoyed your turkey and pumpkin pie and didn’t fret over the calories and fat grams, because you know what? Your family may be the first to tell you that yes, those jeans make you look fat, but they still love you, that’s why they’re your family.
Happy holidays everybody!
Posted by Tiffany at November 27, 2004 03:43 AM