Cue the tiny little violins.
Faster than you can file false charges...
Makin' memories, folks.
Not to be rude, but - dude!
Okay, so chicken?
My Easter ham dreams go *poof*
I know it's weird.
lalalalalalalaI'm not listening.
"I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store."
Oh no they di'int!
So corny that it's good.
Cunning, ain't I?
Lemming? Yes, I am.
I feel bad about my mess.
Word!
Little fucker.
Yeah, that was helpful.
Anyway.
Have blog, will travel.
Fuck.
"You need to pick your afro daddy, because it's flat on one side."
The definition of masochism.
Can run, but can't hide.
Makes me yearn for hard liquor.
Bad daughter.
Resemblances and lack thereof
Composing an email to my li'l sis.
As luck would have it...
Angry "Trek" rambles
Smells cleaner than it is.
I can see clearly now the fuzz is gone.
"Is your refrigerator running?"
Brokeback Refrigerator
Obligatory boring Sunday post
Better than a white-tipped cane, but oh well.
Jealous much?
See my awesome drawing skillz?
Good news and bad news.
Patience of Job.
A Pox on Spike
*points to end of rope*
Cover that shit up, man.
Another hair-brained plan.
Um...where'd my mail go?
What sound do chicks make?
There are words for women like her that begin with "B."
Yeah, I'll call you.
Ew
When it rains, yada yada.
Oh God, I want this.
Simple Pleasures
a PSA
Half-hearted little protest.
Maybe I should start downloading books to my iPod.
sniff. sniff.
Oh my dear God.
Do what now?
!!!
I'll go out of my way to not go that way.
Not on THIS waist.
Fa-la-la-la-la-fel
I be intelligent.
Solid as a marshmallow.
Watching the Mail Box
Let's lowball me, okay?
Got pod?
It's good exercise.
blech!
WAHM.
Funky Fridge
What's your 2007 calendar?
Auld Lang Syne
My mother is off her meds.
Geez, it's not Barbie hair. Shoo!
Stuck in my head, now.
Tease.
Things you realize while standing over the trash can peeling an orange.
Over the river and through the woods.
Deck the halls.
Duke Lacrosse Players Off the Hook
Damn zoo.
:Geek:
Don't make me come down there.
Hmm, that looks familiar.
63 Questions
How you know you haven't had enough sleep
"You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
A'travellin' we will go...
Blah blah "Greetings from All of Us to All of You." blah
I don't want to, but I need to.
Again?
Let it snow/sleet/ice.
Go pick it up. NOW.
Grr!
Who me? Facetious?
The Grid
In for the day
That must be tasty.
"Business in the front, party in the back": The Mullet Hat
The well-dressed baby
Not even fit to make croutons with.
Mmmmmm, tasty :p
Damn Cat.
That is soooooo funny.
Things that do not work #1
Well then.
"Y'all have sweet tea?"
Tee hee!
Just an isolated incident.
Um...thanks?
Bitch, moan.
Not gonna hold my tongue anymore.
Musings on Star Wars
*blink. blink*
I don't even know.
The Great Giveaway Challenge
You get what you ask for!
Self-Bribery
A-dee, a-dee, a-dee - that's all, folks.
It's the little things...
Why don't you just put "CW" in a circle and call it a day?
Carolina Phoneathon: Training Hustlers of the Future
Oh, shoot.
A Picture Share!
F*CK!
Shh! Maury's on.
Perhaps my music analysis skills are slipping.
Genius!
"Oh lord, here comes a manager."
Like a bad Ricki Lake episode.
Ew!
Nincompoop.
Grumpy young woman.
Let's play musical chairs!
Yes, I'm recalcitrant.
Muwuhahahahaha!
I should go pet her now.
"And...what will you be doing?"
Manning the Booth
*does Snoopy dance*
How to give a negative reference
"And that's HOW much in pounds?"
"We're parked on lot 33."
Well, I never!
Uh uh, too early for that.
Reader Poll Monday
Strippers
Time to put the poverty goggles back on.
Synchronized Swimmers
Cat & Mouse
*feels the need to shower*
*grinds teeth*
Fuck Sprint
And the Lord said, "Let there be a list..."
The Cold: Day 3
Dragging Ass
Too much information.
Maybe I'll Close the Door
Eep!
People still say that?
Squeaky Clean
Am I supposed to be excited?
Can't they make this easy?
Why I'm not a pundit.
Drained
Bend me, shape me, any way you want me.
True Blue
*scratch scratch* GET OUT!
Boiling mad.
Braving a heart attack to board a plane.
And not a speck of sunburn in sight.
Oh, Fark you.
Hoping the cats don't eat the house.
Will incur my pregnant rage
I taste salty.
Fireside activities and farm-girl tasks.
I may dust a little, yet.
Ew.
The Sweet Taste of Freedom
giddy with anticipation
Just call me "George."
Scott, you'd better come get YOUR cat.
That'll learn her.
"Maybe you can ask public radio for some of the money I gave them?"
Charity begins at home.
The audacity!
"Does not share well with others."
"Let's go Caa-aanes *clap clap clap clap clap*"
Puffy, I want to ... grr!
Makes me rage from within.
A Good Saturday Meme
"The exhaust appears to be fine. Whilst we are on the subject of expelling waste gas...."
Myrtle Beach Recap
He could have at least cracked the window.
Wow. That's so nice. Thank you.
Pinch 'em blue.
I didn't order country-style nuttin'
More room in the driveway
Damn, I needed that.
Tell me if I was wrong.
One chore down, 167 left to go.
Just my luck.
Postal Etiquette
Gah! Shoo!
Stupid People
Too cute for words.
Chill, Nancy.
How 'bout reading before answering?
So yellow.
*eye twitches uncontrollably*
FRACK!
Just fix it.
Rabbit food
Feh.
So that's what you think, huh?
And their on-hold music is HORRID.
Just fix my damn house.
Scape 'n Paint
Scratchie scratchie.

140 Calories. 0 g Protein.
Back to my disco ringtone...
Strike a pose, Brit-Brit.
Another financial fiasco.
Crop Walk
TCSA.
A Picture Share!
Flavor Flaaaav
How I Read a Résumé
Two tears in a bucket.
Aw, hell.
Mom, check. Auntie, check. Grandma...uh..uhhhh!
*grumbles incoherantly*
Yuck!
*clutches heart*
I'm real observative.
Squeeee!
Watered-down
Just drowning in it.
Sugar Shock
Creepy
The Pop Tart Spawns Again
Damn, my back hurts.
A Little Levity
A Picture Share!
Damnation.
Who?
*crosses legs tightly*
*shakes weak, tired fist*
Idol Watching
Chew Toy
College Nightmares.
Just saying what I mean, is all I'm saying.
iPod Help
Less work for you - don't say I never gave you anything.
Bunch of savages.
Mine arms have seen the glory of the coming of the comb.
Crafty.
If a mail truck made an animal noise, it'd be "Moo."
Damn, me too.
*shakes a fist*
How to shut 'em up.
Truer words were never spoken.
Take me with you.
Busybusybusy
Mommy, I'm cold!
Puffy's Big Day
*lick*
Oh, that's mine?
Fear and Trepidation
It's up!
Lend me your recipes...
Resolutions
Yay, Edenton!
Bob your head.
Ew!
A Little Quizcicle
Ho heh heh
*cracks whip*
Groveling to Gap
Where I get my strapping good looks.
Naps are the shit.
Stupid People
Durham Community Concert Band Christmas Concert
Where's my mail?
A Public Service Announcement.
Lots of nog, little egg.
Hot to Trot
"Can I help you, Mi$$?"
An unintentional Mall Power-Walker
G'wan and Ask.
Throws in the towel.
Gratuitous Kitty Shots
I don't need help that badly.
Do what now?
A Quizzle
And bend! And Stretch!
On God and Ignorance
I'm stalling.
A wee blog post before Thanksgiving.
The hangover aura lifts
I slept through my vet appointment.
@$!&*$@!! Oven!
Aww :)
*relaxing yoga breath*
Hold it - hold it - - now!
Damn, that's scary.
Closer and closer to middle-age.
BAppy Hirthday to meee...
Gratuitous Kitty Shots
Be a big girl.
Ole Meanie
Ow
It's a girl!
People piss me off.
*whistles innocently*
Ho ho holy cow.
Air Etiquette
Is that a violin in your trunk or are you just happy to see me?
Netfuckers.
Must be pretty hard milking soy beans.
Single-leg Circles
Cleaning House
Band Geek
Huh.
Silly Beaureaucrats.
Just push.
Rules of the Road
First and 10
Finito.
INTERNAL MEMO
Three down, Four to Go
*Does a little dance*
It's a Girl!
Superbored
Well Pip Pip, and Cheerio.
Piano Plaque
Zoom zoom zoom
Gotta get Crack-a-lackin'
*Gush*
Beating the system
Good news and bad news
Oh Fudge.
Book smart.
In Support of the Susan G. Komen Foundation
Public Domain
Song o' the Mornin' Commute
Fiskars rocks.
The COM port Triangle
Fuckity fuck.
Click click!
Volunteerism is a Southern woman's duty.
"You want me to put what where?"
Tiiiiiimmmmbeeeer!
Stretch it or you'll wreck it.
Tortured Artist
All the Black Eyed Peas a girl could want.
Like that dude sledgehammered in Misery
Oh, no they di-in't
Lookie Loos
Skin Eraser
Bald Head Photos
I'm home.
Sleepless
Taking on Water
Knitting my Time Away
VOLUNTARY evacuation.
By the Marsh
View of the Villa
Safely Arrived
You're going to miss me, right?
STAY AWAY HURRICANES!
Streaks of Crud.
Maybe it was that "condescending" part.
These shoes are made for walkin'.
Micro Vault
A Disaster of Biblical Proporations
Apropos...
Chugalug
My lungs are as clean as my floors.
Show me yours and I'll show you mine.
Anything to avoid a 20 minute drive.
Two fewer teeth in my head.
Rinse twice per day.
That'll make it easier.
Technical Difficulties
Giggle Alert
This is really going to happen.
Refining my Craft
I can smell the salty air already.
Oogly Googly eyes
Things that cause acid reflux.
Family Reunions
Airtight terms of service.
She SHIT in the box.
Retail Therapy
A Picture Share!
Skeevy
I Did It.
A Picture Share!
More Reasons to Hate Insurance Companies
A Picture Share!
This sucks. Literally.
Sob, sob. Heave, heave.
*Thud!*
Miss Congeniality
Practical for home?
The beer oracle has spoken.
Tradeoffs.
Beer Goggles
1 - 2, Cha cha cha.
Bug Orgy
"...down to Kokomo, that's where we want to go."
Fire Engine
I'm not even mad.
Stupid Spam Subjects:
Tiffany's Rules of Conduct for Job Interviews
Family or Not?
A Study on Bloggers
Break it to make it.
Some Aesop-Like Wisdom
Fuckin' 'tards
Drunk Dialer
Jaws of Life
"This is Not A Bill"
Summer Shopping
A Frank Discussion of Fathers
A Picture Share!
Take me out to the ballgame
You're turning? Well, no shit.
Gladious.
A PSA for Southern Chickies
Requisite Occasional Cat Picture
FUCK!
Stifling the Economy
I forgot I had these.
Just wondering.
Not even a trickle.
Something sharper than my tongue
The more you know...
I'm the person you WANT to stand next to in line.
Crikey!
Eye choo-choo-choose you.
First Daylily of the Season
Thank you.
Life is like a box of ... Wisk.
Eye give up.
Minimum sanity facility.
When's Friday?
Jeez, the keys!
Feh.
The Tiffany is NOT happy.
I need a mind eraser.
"Grace and Favour"
Starlu
Lunch
What I think about when I think about things.
Care to confront?
A Picture Share!
A Picture Share!
A Picture Share!
Look at my new phone! *click*
Highway Robbery
Zoop zoop zoop.
Congestion like you wouldn't believe.
Heavy.
Dis-R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Wheeee!!
I care about my pet's health.
Silly Bodie.
Fucking Re-Makes
Talk me down from this ledge.
There. It's done.
Huh.
Salvation.
Being Lazy
Team in Training
Whta is the next model in the series?
Le sob, le moan.
Shit.
Kwik-e Koffee
AwwWWWww
Shaking Branches
So helpful.
On the trail.
A Little Boobage Story
You are like a fly. Your presense bothers me. Poof! Be gone.
He didn't hate it.
I care enough to send the very best.
Burnout
So...hungry.
I can open that eye now.
While you were out...
Moonlighting
"Can I see your I.D.?"
Holy busing, Batman!
So. Tired.
My new sippy cup.
Under Foot
Ooh! Free!
"Blue Light Special on Support Garments - Aisle 2"
Oh, my.
Sounds about right.
GET AWAY FROM MY DESK!
"NO! NO NO NO NO, NOT THERE!"
Saturday Memeishness
My poor little schnookums.
*lick lick sneeze*
Confession
"Oops, I did it again."
"No, I'm okay. I'll sleep in the closet."
I need to get this off my chest.
Yes, catblogging.
Bodie
Kitty Wonton
Now Showing in Theatres Near You.
Last of the Autumn Leaves
Dirty Nails
Nickeled and Dimed
Jerkoffs. (Fuckers, Part II)
Fuckers.
More.
Would you care for some paranoia?
Jonquils are Up
"I hope you like-a jammin', toooo."
Yep
That darn cat.
Adding a new bundle of joy to our family.
"I love you." That's my gift.
Somebody save me....no, never mind.
Why did I...?
A PSA from Momotrips:
Kissin' Cousins
Here's Johnnie.
The Crappy T.V.
*dabs eyes with tissue*
A Public Service Announcement
Woot woot!
"The Office"
Slowing me down to 60 wpm
Beware of this pattern.
*clutches at heart*
Grape Hyacinths are up.
"Would you like to provide a credit card number now, or shall we bill you?"
A legitimate excuse for the telemarketers: "I'm broke, bitch."
I confress.
|<< last song
Up to my eyeballs
Well, then.
?
An upset would...
Cheap fix.
Huddled Masses Wanted for Heat.
Zee BracketManager
I wonder.
Turn out the light.
*Cough*
Gloop.
Bad Business
Use a watch!
Well, you'll just have to force me.
Creepy
Things I can't stand
Would you like some Monday?
$2.49 worth of sentiment.
Put on your workin' shoes.
Tips from Tiff
I want to tell you a secret.
I'd like my 2 degrees back.
Shut it down.
Lunch & Learn
Um...who?
Ringadingaling.
Smite me with inconvenience.
*zip!*
*mumbles incoherently*
Yo ho, heave ho.
Fantastic Ideas R' Us
Oh, my aching ass.
"Bad boys, bad boys..."
"TOOT" yourself, buddy!
It has to be said.
2 Down, 6 to Go
Should have bought Joss Stone.
I've got it! Transfer via telepathy!
I'M UP damnit!
Oh, I guess I don't.
"Extreme!"
*cries a little*
Contemplation...
Tree guys are here....
I haven't forgotten.
"Huh? You don't--huh?"
Drip.
Oops, I did it again.
Girls+Beer=Sexy
Weird
"Here, meet my *cough*daughter*cough*"
*shakes fist*
Buh-bye Citi
"Confuse-us Say..."
Snobs
I'm a bawler.
Solicitors
Yes, FedEx did leave it outside.
Hold on...
Name Game
tick tick BOOM!
What am I, made of money?
A series of unfortunate events.
I've figured it out.
Precipitation!
*twitches noticably*
So, about last night...
Worst...parents...ever
*kicks the Department of Revenue*
Defeating the purpose?
Time to Make the Doughnuts
"Maria Full of Grace"
HP Opinions
*Breathes a sigh of relief*
Greenpeace would be shocked.
*Rubs eyes*
Should have stayed home.
Longest Commute Ever
I'm happy, really I am.
Snow?
Ammunition
Elves are stealing my winter apparel.
Domo arigato, Mrs. Computo
If I had the balls...
CHOCOLATE!
Please, stop teasing me.
By George, I think I've got it.
Spiffy
What, you don't get overtime?
Humble Request from the Fusemistress
My day is a balancing scale.
"Teen Shemales!" "Mature Sluts!"
D'oh!
Nothing is sacred.
Cranky.
Makes me feel less guilty.
*Kicks them*
Beer Blogging
Stay down there!
"Kick it under a shelf. Don't let anybody see it!"
Not an original thought to spare...
I should change my shirt now.
"Let me sit on your head."
Three? Four, perhaps?
Oy.
The Six-Month Project
Holy. Shit.
Geek.
Happy New Year!
Am I a bad shopper?
I'll send what I can, but not because it's being demanded.
Nappy
"Yeah, tell him 'Happy Birthday' and blah blah blah"
*kicks your shin with my heel*
The Life Cycle of a "Giddy"
Recycling
More from the pile
So dastardly...
Just in case.
I haven't had my coffee yet
More Commentary on Pick-up Lines
"C" is for "Cookie:
Sell-out.
Chad's home...
Chevy
Aw, fooey.
Netflix Digest #2
Bill me for your being wrong, whydoncha.
...oh-tay
Overachieving
Memories
Putting a bad taste in their mouths for next year.
Crass Haiku (avert your eyes)
Weird coinkydink...
HeeHeeHeeHeeHeeHeeHeeHeeHeeHeeHeeHee!
Temptation.
Do I look innocent enough successful?
Screwy.
*counts on fingers...*
"Can you hear me now? Shit."
Those trusting fools!
In a nutshell.
Nice try, bub.
Hack! Cough!
Well, well.
Lunch:
Pander me this, pander me that.
Interesting how they disguise it as junk mail.
Realization.
Mm hmm.
"I got a lot of money."
I wonder...
Blockbuster tempts me.
Stains stains everywhere.
Might as well make it unembarrassing.
Bodily Harm.
Next step: combing with a pitchfork
Sticks head out rabbit hole...
Whip it, Whip it good
MOVIES NOT TO RENT
It's a family affair
Santa Got Run Over By A Reindeer
You sweet talker, you.
THANKS-GIVEN
Erotica
I BLAME THE PILGRIMS
STAND STILL, I CAN'T HIT A MOVING TARGET
Some blogtastic evening...
My own "Blue Period"
Progress
Fuckity fuck fuck...
Just damn.
We're Back
Lack of sleep makes Tiffany very philosophical.
Oink.
Christmas is what you make of it.
Ho ho hell.
Damn power...mumble mumble
Dear Santa:
Brr.
What's in my purse?
Expressions of Guilt
Wanna have a happy Thanksgiving? Skip the trip to Michael's and come get your holiday crafting supplies from my front yard.
Got on my push-up bra 'cause it's a good day.
Bob Villa don't have a damn thing on me...even WITH the beard.
I burned a $500 hole in my apartment's deck on move-out day.
Dear Mom:
Hoes are expensive.
How come? (Or "why come?" for my 3-year-old niece)
Paint stinks, but it does miraculous things.
It'd better be laced with gold flecks for THAT price.
Why would I do this to myself?
Sure, it looks pretty in a PICTURE.